It all happened on a Tuesday evening
In our fair city by the rivers
A new type of vigilante was spotted
Down by the docks on the east end
Donning a costume so unremarkable
To almost go unnoticed
The only distinguishing feature was a large L
Emblazoned across the forehead of his mask
Loser man, Loser man, Loser man
Save us if you can
Save us if you can
Save us if you can
Tales of his heroism spread across the city
From Bigelow to downtown people spoke of such feats as
Rescuing a bus full of passengers
from a broken air-conditioning system
Saving a kitten from a felled tree
He was there on the nightly news
He was there on the social media videos
He was there in the dreams of children
Who lay sleeping in tenements hoping for a brighter day
Loser man, Loser man, Loser man
Save us if you can
Save us if you can
Save us if you can
Then on that fateful day, our city would never be the same
Loser man faced his biggest foe
As the mayor heaved the key to the city into his arms
Loserman took a long look at the crowd
And it could be said that he was taking on long look at himself
And what did he see? And did he like what he did see?
Loser man stepped away from the podium
The brass key dropped to the stage with a thud
Loser man, Loser man, Loser man
Save us if you can
Save us if you can
Save us if you can
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