I was sitting in Dr Kevorkian Jr’s office the other day
Waiting for my appointment
And I started looking through a stack of magazines
And I saw a magazine I’d never heard of before
So I opened it up and started reading it
And found out all sorts of things I never knew before
Such as the bullet that shot JFK was the very same bullet
That killed Kurt Cobain three decades later
It had never landed
It just kept going around and around the earth
And also that the Scrooge ducklings
Screwy, Duey, and Louie -- they weren’t even really brothers
It was just a ruse put on by Disney
And I found out that governments lie
And corporations lie
And the media lies
And people lie to each other and I didn’t know who to believe

There are some things they will never tell you
There are some things they will never tell you

Then I found out that the weather is a weapon
Yes it’s a weapon and it’s way out there in the middle of the Pacific Ocean
Where no one can find it
And it’s guarded by all these giant warships
And airplanes that circle around all day
To make sure no one finds out about this weather weapon
But the thing is, it’d be really calm and sunny everyday
But there’s this machine and what it does
Is it creates rain and hail and ice and sleet and storms and volcanic eruptions
Well maybe not volcanic eruptions
Because I’m pretty sure those have been around a lot longer than the weather machine
Like maybe millions of years or a billion or 2 billion years but anyway
It causes all these other problems and it keeps us from knowing the truth about anything
Because we’re always distracted by this big weather problem

There are some things they will never tell you
There are some things they will never tell you
There are some things they will never tell you
There are some things they will never tell you

Then I read that the moon landings were fake
They were staged
They were shot in a studio outside of Malibu
And all these big time Hollywood directors were there
And all these big time Hollywood producers were there
And they had to fill out all these forms that said classified and confidential
But the military went and threatened their families
So they couldn’t say anything about it anyway
But the thing is there really are people who live on the moon
There are people who live in these big crazy domes
And we can’t see them from earth
Because they’re on the dark side of the moon
That we never landed on but we never landed on any side of the moon
And there are people who are up there who are not like us
But they are people who are like us
Because they used to live on earth thousands of years ago
Before we were people
But now they’re just people who live on the moon
And they’re not lizard people
Because they're people who gave rise to people like us
And oh yeah, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens

There are some things they will never tell you
There are some things they will never tell you
There are some things they will never tell you
There are some things they will never tell you