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Pyrrhic Victory Recordings
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Destory All

by Strange Monsters

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1.
I was feeling useless Uninspired and pointless Like I was living my life Without rigor, without vigor And I wondered if this was how Optimus Prime’s little brother felt On the schoolyard when all the kids shouted They shouted for… Optimus Prime! Optimus Prime! Optimus Prime! Optimus Prime! Optimus Prime! Optimus Prime! Optimus Prime! Optimus Prime! Well here’s a song for Optimus Minor For all you Optimus Minors out there Yeah, you know who you are If you’ve ever felt the shadow cast upon you From the light of so many others Rendered you small Like an ant in the tall grass Well, it’s time to unplug from the mainframe Unplug from the mainstay Let the light of sun fall on your hair And sing… Optimus Mi-, Optimus Mi-mi-mi-mi Optimus Mi-mi-mi-mi, Optimus Minor! Optimus Mi-, Optimus Mi-mi-mi-mi Optimus Mi-mi-mi-mi, Optimus Minor!
2.
I was walking through the supermarket Just the other day Perusing the seafood counter Admiring jumbo shrimp and wild caught fillets Asking myself, Why should I pay? In this metropolis of sustenance Just another unfair system of governance I would take that would be my fate Like a bankrupt bounty hunter, like IG88 Burritos in the freezer aisle - no way! Baked Lays on the chips shelf - no way! Canned sardines by the Goya products You’ve gotta be kidding me! I don’t want to pay I don’t want to pay I don’t want to pay I don’t want to pay I don’t want to pay For anything today! A giant butt steak the size of your face What would Morrissey say? Make you feel alone and disgraced And all your past transgressions Come back to slap you in the face Like low sodium soy sauce And Top Ramen without MSG Yeah, I've made some mistakes Maybe I'll make some more today Packets of Beef Stroganoff - no way! Cinnabon with artificial flavors - no way! Two day old rotisserie chicken You’ve got to be kidding me! I don’t want to pay I don’t want to pay I don’t want to pay I don’t want to pay I don’t want to pay For anything today! I don’t want to pay I don’t want to pay I don’t want to pay For anything today!
3.
Things 05:22
I was sitting in Dr Kevorkian Jr’s office the other day Waiting for my appointment And I started looking through a stack of magazines And I saw a magazine I’d never heard of before So I opened it up and started reading it And found out all sorts of things I never knew before Such as the bullet that shot JFK was the very same bullet That killed Kurt Cobain three decades later It had never landed It just kept going around and around the earth And also that the Scrooge ducklings Screwy, Duey, and Louie -- they weren’t even really brothers It was just a ruse put on by Disney And I found out that governments lie And corporations lie And the media lies And people lie to each other and I didn’t know who to believe There are some things they will never tell you There are some things they will never tell you Then I found out that the weather is a weapon Yes it’s a weapon and it’s way out there in the middle of the Pacific Ocean Where no one can find it And it’s guarded by all these giant warships And airplanes that circle around all day To make sure no one finds out about this weather weapon But the thing is, it’d be really calm and sunny everyday But there’s this machine and what it does Is it creates rain and hail and ice and sleet and storms and volcanic eruptions Well maybe not volcanic eruptions Because I’m pretty sure those have been around a lot longer than the weather machine Like maybe millions of years or a billion or 2 billion years but anyway It causes all these other problems and it keeps us from knowing the truth about anything Because we’re always distracted by this big weather problem There are some things they will never tell you There are some things they will never tell you There are some things they will never tell you There are some things they will never tell you Then I read that the moon landings were fake They were staged They were shot in a studio outside of Malibu And all these big time Hollywood directors were there And all these big time Hollywood producers were there And they had to fill out all these forms that said classified and confidential But the military went and threatened their families So they couldn’t say anything about it anyway But the thing is there really are people who live on the moon There are people who live in these big crazy domes And we can’t see them from earth Because they’re on the dark side of the moon That we never landed on but we never landed on any side of the moon And there are people who are up there who are not like us But they are people who are like us Because they used to live on earth thousands of years ago Before we were people But now they’re just people who live on the moon And they’re not lizard people Because they're people who gave rise to people like us And oh yeah, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens, aliens There are some things they will never tell you There are some things they will never tell you There are some things they will never tell you There are some things they will never tell you
4.
Retro Boy 03:09
Oh foreign princess bite your tongue (You know) he’s knocking up your daydreams With his ray-gun And he’s so empty, he’s so empty in his bones Yeah, you say, but you really dig his wardrobe But I’m awake, I’m awake in the middle of the night I swear I can’t tell how late All the kids on the fire escape Go "La da da di da da Voltron" Oh retro, oh boy-o Oh he’s so retro boy Oh retro, oh boy-o Oh he’s so retro boy And you say you’re too young to be bought When I tell you I’m too old to be sold He’s an outdated imitation of a past-life Imitation of blase strife It’s not the same, it’s not the same, I’s not the same, you say Outmoded, corduroy, dilettante, passé And all the kids on the fire escape Go "La da da di da da Voltron" Oh retro, oh boy-o Oh he’s so retro boy Oh retro, oh boy-o Oh he’s so retro boy Imitation of life Imitation of strife Take me to Ikea Sleep under florescent lights You’re too young for buying I’m too old for selling You’re too young for buying I’m too old for selling...
5.
Gawker 05:39
Inside every man is a giant purple gorilla That he tries to keep satiated with peanuts and bananas And a man’s biggest fear is that his giant purple gorilla Will one day escape its cage A rainy night on the North Side of Pittsburgh Cops are listening to the Pirates game on the radio Under a mustard -colored bridge, a man with one arm Slices through a prostitute’s heart And all the homeless people know the guy who did it They say he’s her father but her momma says he isn’t And the rain tap tap tap tap taps out a broken melody Then, shots fired on the Mexican War Streets I said go but drive by real slow I said go but talk real low I said go but drive by real slow Cause I wanna see what they did to him They said he had a high concentration of the old ultra violence Maybe it too much Clockwork orange Maybe too many police dramas Maybe he ate too many processed foods And not enough vitamins Then again, maybe he was just dehydrated But inside every man is a giant purple gorilla That he tries to keep satiated with peanuts and bananas And a man’s biggest fear is that his giant purple gorilla Will one day escape its cage I said go but drive by real slow I said go but talk real low I said go but drive by real slow Cause I wanna see what they did to him Yeah I wanna know what they did to him I gotta see what they did to him Yeah I gotta know what they did to him
6.
Oxford Coma 03:40
I slipped into an Oxford coma Too many strippers, JFK, and Stalin Didn’t know what to eat for breakfast Scrambled eggs or members of my lineage And why should punctuation Turn one into a cannibal? Why should I get so grammatical? They’re just marks on paper, right? I guess some people just believe What they want to believe I guess some people just see What they want to see I’m half asleep, I’m half awake I’m half asleep, I’m half awake I’m half asleep, I’m half awake I’m half asleep, I’m half awake I read about a man Who was in a coma for 60 years He had visions, so many visions Foresaw major events before they unfurled Some say it was a TV left on inadvertently Near his hospital room It was all just subliminal suggestion What other explanation could there be? I guess some people just believe What they want to believe I guess some people just read What they want to read I’m half asleep, I’m half awake I’m half asleep, I’m half awake I’m half asleep, I’m half awake I’m half asleep, I’m half awake I’m half asleep, I’m half awake I’m half asleep, I’m half awake I’m half asleep, I’m half awake I’m half asleep, I’m half awake And I’m not gonna break OK, I will just break a little bit…Go!
7.
Spider-Man 05:33
Spiderman didn't love Mary Jane He thought her selfish, vapid, and insane But he got on with her after his true love died He didn't know that people could change That masks worn on the outside weren't the same As the masks one kept hidden inside Oooo, ooo, ooo Spiderman always wanted to flee From what he was and was expected to be But he got on with it, just like you will one day Don't be afraid of what you are Dark city streets, or porcine crime lords You'll find no comfort when their broken spirits fall And remember, this is your story too Don't be confused by the metaphors they'll use Just listen to the sound of your heart carrying you back home Oooo, ooo, ooo Don’t let metal tentacles wrap the dark around you Just keep the door cracked and let the light in Spiderman didn't love Mary Jane He thought her selfish, vapid, and insane But he got on with her after his true love died
8.
Chinese Room 04:45
In a Chinese room in the morning Chinese room in the evening I'm in a Chinese room in the morning Chinese room in the evening Little slips of paper Say what I should be saying Little slips slid under the door Say what I should be thinking Little slips, little slips of paper Say what I should be feeling But all the things they’re saying Mean nothing to me I'm in a Chinese room in the morning Chinese room in the evening I'm in a Chinese room in the morning Chinese room in the evening And all the things they’re saying Mean nothing to me I go to work in the morning And I come home in the evening I brush my teeth in the mirror And I rest my head on a pillow But all day my brain’s been floating In an empty cup of coffee Cause all the things they’re saying Mean nothing to me I'm in a Chinese room in the morning Chinese room in the evening I'm in a Chinese room in the morning Chinese room in the evening I'm in a Chinese room in the morning Chinese room in the evening I'm in a Chinese room in the morning Chinese room in the evening And all the things they’re saying Mean nothing to me Da da da-da-da, da da da-da-da
9.
Zartan 03:53 video
Hey, hey, Zartan! What you hiding from, man? Hey, hey, Zartan! What you hiding from, man? Master of disguise You can see it in his eyes The pain he hides behind To change the skin he lives inside Hey, hey, Zartan! What you hiding from, man? Hey, hey, Zartan! What you hiding from, man? Stares down his reflection Cheap hotel mirror Revolver on the bureau Next to a half-empty bottle of mescal Imagines his frenemies Vanquished in ash below him Focuses on a dilated pupil Feels his facade begin to crumble And he is no longer Zartan Now, he is just a man And he is no longer Zartan Finally, he is just a man Hey, hey, Zartan! What you hiding from, man? Hey, hey, Zartan! What you hiding from, man? Hey, hey, hey, hey!
10.
El Capitan 04:19
Oh El Capitan Come down to the parade today Don’t celebrate the old ways The world’s been discovered for so long Oh El Capitan They still throw candy in the street It lands at the children's feet So they don’t see the sky on fire But there’s a light that shines It shines on all of us Like on the day we were born Oh El Capitan Tonight the pharmacy is empty All the kids run wild on the beach Looking for stars inside the waves But you and I hope That their spirits forever grow No matter how far they dive Into the murky deep Cause there’s a light that shines It shines on all of us Like on the day we were born Oh El Capitan I’m so tired of trying Wish I had the strength to invite you inside These walls of insomnia But the one key, it was taken long ago Now it’s buried in the sand On some long forgotten shore But there’s a light that shines It shines on all of us Like on the day we were born

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© 2016 Strange Monsters
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"...bringing wry, quirky lyrics...and a talk-sing style reminiscent of Camper Van Beethoven." ~Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

"...enjoyably aggressive, straightforward rock music with great guitar riffs and atypical topics." ~Sound Scene Express

"Five minutes after the song is over, the chorus is still stuck in your head." ~Pittsburgh CityPaper

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released October 1, 2016

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